behind this face...there I am!

Who am I?! I was once baffled by this very question myself...what is the foundation of my identity? Who am I really?. Through prep school and high school, I was misunderstood. I was called so many things by the ignorant kids who they themselves were twisted and lost. But, I stood my grounds and hid within my shell, refusing to be defined by a group of people who followed and emulated the actions of their peers, talking about the blind following the blind! I hid myself from people, I drew into myself, I was never talkative, but a keen observer, I was never popular but within myself I knew I possessed the qualities to one day be a great leader...but at the tender age of ten I couldn't seem to understand why people treated me differently. They say I was an antisocial person but its a pity these kids didn't know that while I was locked away in my mind, God was perfecting me to be more than what they saw on the outside. I was very skinny (still am!!), I didn't have long hair, not the coolest or most outgoing...but inside of me I was somebody greater than what people could see.

I knew God existed from a tender age, I loved Him a long time ago...He was perfecting me, humbling me during those periods of rejection and cruelty I faced by my peers.I stood alone, I was different!I have fought many battles, lost many friends but in it all God was making me into who I am today.High school was no different for me, there were trials and there were heart breaks..but that was all God's doing to make me into His vessel of honour.

Behind this face, is a woman with many dreams, I have achieved a lot since prep school and high school. Some people would never believe it.I am victorious! I'm a new being, God has given me so many talents and has planted so many dreams in me that there are times I'm overwhelmed by it all. I'm so thankful to God for separating me from the world and putting me on a path of truth and destiny. I have a divine purpose, a calling to do greater things than I can imagine, the face you see today will have a different meaning tomorrow, because God is just getting ready to realise a new Esther , a new David, a mighty prophet Jeremiah...just know that God is going to do something big!! I'm only a face and a body, but whats inside of me is greater than anything else and that's all that matters...God is Good!

So who am I today?...I'm an apologist, an evangelist, a musician, a sister, a writer, a lover, a friend, a mentor...but most importantly, a servant of the most High God.

Nuff Love
Geek of theology.

Yep..its I...tha lump of clay!

Ok, wad up fam!! its the one and only Geek of theology. Its a great honour to know that people are reading my blogs, at least I know I'm not wasting my time spilling my guts in this public forum...but none the less, this may just touch some one. And for those who may want to follow the new movement called CRAZI 4 CHRIST, I will soon be starting a new an offical page, so I'll keep you posted.

So, whats new?! Well been doing a lot of work got finals coming up and I got to keep my GPA up. I hope this summer to do something extraordinary, hey...its was really HOT the other day ( i know this is random but..) its was pretty warm, no jackets, no scarfs etc...just good weather, praise God summer is in the air. Ok back to school, yea I got finals and all, papers to write and the whole works...but still I find time for myself and the love of my life. I read the book of Proverbs and I'm amazed.Wisdom??!! many think having a PhD or some kind of degree makes a person wise...but that's far from wisdom, wisdom is so Crazy sick (in a good way) I cant even beginning to explain the revelations I got last night after reading proverbs, y'all got to check it out yourselves.

So as for me, I've been doing some minor projects, writing songs, making beats, free styling in the shower lol! That's where all my songs are born, when I'm taking a shower. Man, God is awesome and ever so gracious. I can be all that I want to be, thanks to God. God is really Good. Oh yea, TEDASHII's album will hit the stores soon. The album will be GREAT. Check it out!

Well, I love you all. To all my friends in Jamaica( well there aren't much left) I love y'all. I miss my peeps.I so want to go to Africa, sorry I know this is out of the blues..but I have a burning desire to go there, I know it will be soon God's willing. Alright, keep strong and keep your heads bopping to the rhythm of God's heart. I'm out!

Nuff love,

Geek of Theology

Spring Break..oh please

Hey y'all, It's I the evangelist, apologist..basically God's vessel. It's me tha Geek!! ok lets see..its spring break and I haven't been enjoying it...its been boring. I can tell you all the stuff I DIDN'T DO, I basically slept did work and drown my brain into some books. I'm basically overwhelmed, too much thoughts have been going through my head...I've been from one extreme to the other. I've been angry, sad and just straight up confused. These past few days have been a roller coaster ride ...so many mixed emotions. Life is so funny and people are so strange.

Anyways, as I said it has been a boring Spring Break, but nonetheless I give God thanks for each day that I see. You know people can be VERY crude and so darn fake. I just needed to let that out. Ok lets get some positive energy flowing!!! Well during my boredom I've composed a couple of songs, also I've made couple of new beats which in my opinion is SICK!! I think these beats are hot,also I've written a kind of a philosophical breakdown on the concept of Passion and Lust, when I'm done with it I'll post it up. God is still God and He has been faithful to me...boi there were times I've almost lost my cool and tempted to tell people what was really on my mind BUT then God comes to mind. Life can be crazy and people can be crude.

I miss my Church I know this is random but ....I need to find a church were I belong, a church that I can feel God's liberation, I feel as if I'm being excluded and I yearn for 'freedom'. I love God and I love Christians..but something is missing in me. I'm tired of 'Christians' judging one another just because of what someone wears, or how a person talks. If a person looks different, smells different or is down right just DIFFERENT then they are sinners. I noticed that people are afraid of change, moreover Christians are afraid of things that look different. NOT everything that's different is SIN and NOT everything that FEELS good is actually good. There is a thin line between sin and holiness, but some people are so over dramatic and set in there own spiritual world...everything is sin for some people..I'm TIRED of all this, Tired of segregation, tired of the pretence, tired of the 2009 Pharisees and Sadducee's. I need a church, a church were people can feel liberated and God's love will flourish. God is for ALL, the man with the dreads, the thief, the liar, the child, the sinner...just for everyone!!!

I need.. a change!! I need freedom...! God has liberated men...there is nothing I can do to obtain salvation, nothing I wear , do , say or...whatever can save me except...the blood of JESUS! I'm save because of JESUS...nothing else.

Nuff Love

Geek of Theology

This is so true, please view !!

Please subcribe and these issues are so true in my opinion!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJNEtb2OwdY

Hey y'all!!

Ok so I'm officially on spring break and to be very honest its not so much a break but a time to catch up in my academics...but nonetheless I'm so grateful for the time. I've had some very interesting things happening to me lately. I've drawn closer to the love of my life, I've tripped up a bit but still His love is there to rescue me. So, yea I guess I'm still in love with the higher love!!

So, I just had my alone time with God, and of course my soul is renewed and uplifted. I'm not a perfect person and neither do I try to portray myself to be as such but instead I try to show people that its ok to stumble and mess up but also you must get back up and push again. Oh, happy Easter to all my viewers!! If you're not so sure what this Easter thing is about well I just got one word, well actually two words 'THE CROSS'!!

Ok, I think I'm straying a bit. What I really wanted to talk about today was the worldly distractions. There are so many things out there to draw and keep the attention of people in all the wrong places. I'm so guilty of it too! These social networks are draining my energy. I got an ipod and to be honest I can't go anywhere without it, I also got a cell phone and my mind makes me believe I cant live without it, I'm currently on 5 social networks and to be honest it rules my life not to mention I manage 2 email accounts...now tell me if these stuff ain't a major distraction???! Boi, the devil knows how to pull the people away from God. I don't totally blame the enemy because I have ALLOWED these things to rule my life I made that choice, and a pretty bad choice it was. But anyway, I always still find time for my Love, so Today I read Jonah 4 and now I'm so baffled by this passage. I think I'm going to have to do some research on this one!!!

So, people don't allow these foolish networks, ipods and cellphones to rule your lives...lets not waste our lives snooping on other peoples profiles, lets stop checking our emails ever 5 minutes cause we sure as hell know nobody ain't emailing us!! But seriously, lets be productive, efficient and steadfast people who got a life and if you don't got one at least try to act like you do!!!

I'm out, gotta go check my facebook!!! (sike)

Geek of Theology

CHRISTUS LUMINARIUM

I’m so in love, I have such a deep desire and passion for my God. He is all sufficient. He is all that I need and require. I need nothing else to fill me because I’m already filled, no other person can even touch my heart the way God does, He knows the right things to say. God is all powerful and caring a true lover, a true man.

I was just listening to a sermon “Christus Luminarium” and I most say it has spoken to my soul and totally reinforced all that God was trying to teach me during these past months. I don’t need to sell my body to a bunch of men to feel wanted or to experience ‘love’, I don’t need to drink ‘love’ from a broken vessel, but instead I can run and drink from the well that never runs dry, I will and can drink from the fountain of love, my God is all I need , I don’t need a boyfriend to feel accepted nor do I need to flaunt myself around to gain the approval of men. I’m satisfied with God, I’m SO complete in Him. I don’t lack nor want in His presence. I don’t need to fight for His approval, his love its unconditional whether or not I’m looking my best his love never changes. I love my God, I really do!! If you think I’m lame, lonely or desperate…I’m not, because one thing I have learnt is that TRUE love is found in Christ. No one has ever loved me with such care and consistency…I’m no longer seeking, God says He’s my EVERYTHING and I believe Him. I’m so in love, I’m just straight up crazy in Love with my God.

I feel so liberated. Love is such a wonderful thing, its so rewarding. I have finally found Love and it feels Good..so Good!!!

Nuff love 4 Christ

Geek Of Theology.

I thought..and It was..oops!!!

Was up to all those who may stumble on my insignificant babbling, but nonetheless all Glory to the high priest, the mediator of all my transgressions, the prince of peace, the joy of my life and the lover of my soul, to Him I exalt.Jesus is Da King!!!!

Ok, hey! I'm at school and I had a bit of time to spare. Just came out of a philosophy class and as usual it challenged my brain..but still I gained some insightful theories. Life is all based upon interpretation. What I may conceive as fact and to be a reality, one may have opposing views and I do respect that. The mind is a powerful form, sad to say many never really understood the power of their thoughts until its too late. For example, a man who goes crazy and walks up into a store and slaughters 20 people or a man who is so overwhelmed with life and its madness commits suicide.All these things starts in the mind. Suicide is first committed in the mind, lust is cultivated in our thoughts, murder starts in the mind. Sounds trivial and illogical...but its true, both biblically and Psychologically.

If people really took the time out to examine their thoughts about situations maybe life would be better . Many of us plan things in our minds, but yet we are so surprised when all our thoughts manifests. Some say I didn't mean to kill my brother or I didn't mean to cheat on my wife, but the seed was already sown in the mind and so the mind acted upon the constant thought and so the body reacts and poof we messed up. What are you thinking about? Don't act shocked when your thoughts become alive through your deeds.

Lets use our minds to press forward in a more positive way, like thinking outside of culture, outside the religious box churches have placed us into....! I think ,so therefore I am, whatever my mind can conceive I must can therefore achieve it, one night I was talking to the love of my life ( Jesus) and He said "see yourself in the spirit and it shall be in the physical". I took that bit of advice literally and here I am envisioning myself doing the impossible, I have so many dreams and visions...I have already started planning a little grassroots movement, its starting to take its form but by God's grace and promise to me I will see it manifest to its greatest potential. But anyway, back to the mind, please be careful of the things you entertain in your minds....it may just become a reality.

Got a Hebrew class now, so I'm out!

Geek Of Theology

My heart Cries out for my Love

I don't feel guilty, I don't have any regrets....Is something wrong?! maybe! OK, soI havent been to church in weeks, more specific..like in 4 weeks now! Am I angry?! Naw, its just that, I have no motivation to go. I have been through quite a lot since I've migrated to this place. Some of my experiences have been good while others are not so great. I love God, no doubt about that. But, I'm fallen, if I don't catch myself I'm going to crash and burn! but none the less my God is gracious and ever faithful. At the moment I'm Listening to K-drama's song 'We still standing" its a very encouraging song and its speaking to my soul now. But back to my previous point, I have no regrets for not being at church,Is it the people that's turning me off? I have a whole lot of mixed feelings about church folks these days. I just don't feel alive, I felt like a piece of me has died or maybe its because..I've stepped away from the love of my life. Building a relationship is not easy, its hard work. I've been slipping up lately, the things I should be doing, I've somehow forsaken.Before any of you get the wrong idea, I'm still talking about God! He's the only true man in my life.

But anyway, I thought just popped into my head, I wonder what people think of me? I wander what they see in me that I possibly can't see in myself? My thoughts are a bit jumbled at the moment and i know the reason why...its because I'm slipping away. Each step one takes away from God, the closer one moves to death. I can feel it, somethings not right. I feel the distance between us, its killin' me and I know it grieves Him as well. I'm slipping! Don't get it twisted its not because I haven't been to church but its the mere fact that my heart has found a new love, my heart has been indulging in things that's taking the place of my God. I'm talking about idolatry!!! Yea, trust me a lot of Christians are guilty of it. I need to get back to that place with God, where each morning He drops a song or a word into my heart. Where, I Can feel His presence and talk to Him. I miss those times, that's what sin does it separates man from God. Now, I'm in a war. I have to once again fight my flesh so I can I run into the inner courts and straight into the arms of my Father. I'm slipping, but I must fight for the love of my King.

Nuff love,

Geek of theology

WOW

I was just feeding my spirit on the word of God, and then decided to watch a couple of videos of Juanita Bynum's preaching. I must admit, although this woman has been through whole lot she still has this power and anointing to break the yoke off God's people. These videos has brought light on certain dark areas in my life as well as it has confirm some of God's directions in my life. Hope you too will be edified and empowered
http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eis_MyXXMg4

Peace in the midst of all tha drama

Boi, there was a time I thought my life was uneventful...but I'm taking back all that loose talk!! Today, was like no other. First, I must say I'm extremely upset and a bit sad. I'm a bundle of mixed emotions. Life can be crazy and if you're not careful it can consume you...that's why you have to pull away from the crowd sometimes and move into the presence of God. Only God can give you the strenght to press on in this crazy world. School is so dull to me, I don't know but I think I need to be doing some other things.I have so many ideas and visions that I want to start working on but I just seem to always put those off for many reasons than I don't want to disclose. I just can't afford to waste my life....I just want to maximise my abilities and I want to use my knowledge and talents outside of school and into something more meaningful to me!

But anyway back to the crazy world thingy, yea it can get crazy and today I had a chunk of what crazy can be. Everything seems to be flipping out of control, the economy is dying, we are approaching a depression...and my professor is making me mad! I'm not so much concerned about the economy because I know my God will provide...but as for my professor, God please bless his soul! After I vented my anger, the word came: " you can have peace in the midst of the storm"Oh, that was all I needed to know. Instantly I felt a sense of joy,I found myself smiling as if the world suddenly evolved into heaven, every problem vanished and I was in bliss....until a picture of my professor came to mind!

You see that's the plan of the enemy, he hates when you smile, he just likes to stress people out. So its up to me to allow God's joy to flood my life or I can continually dwell on the pains and stresses of life...! I'm choosing joy, so I know I have to keep my mind on Christ and I know He will keep me in perfect peace!

Nuff Love

Geek of Theology

Kickin it at Hunter

Well here is a quick blog, just want to give you an insight in the life of a theological geek!! Well I'm pretty tired but with God and His unfailing grace allowed me to see another day...This day is different, its like none I've ever seen! some may say it seems like any ordinary day, but to me each day brings new insight and new goals. Each day is given unto us to do a new thing, whether its to start a fresh and change our mind set about a particular thing or whether its to reach out to someone who may be need a 'hand' in life, whatever the case its still remains its a new day, for doing new things.

So yea, while on the train this morning,I saw a lady with a huge piece of bread crumbs on the corner of her lip.I really wanted to just brush the 'distraction'off her face, I hand to fight to keep my hand at my side. Boi, I stared on that crumb on her face all the way to school and as you can see I still cant get it off my mind. The funny thing is that I wasn't the only person who was distracted by this 'thing', everybody took a double take at her mouth. Boi it was a sight!!! I wished I took a pic with my phone so then maybe you'll understand! But anyway,just want to drop a few words into your spirits and here goes: "Don't try to change people's minds about you but try to change your mind about yourself". People will always have negative things to say to you but its for you to keep a positive mindset about yourself. God made all of us unique and with a specific task some people may never be able to accept you as you are and some even may see something great in you and so they try to hold you back...but to all my fellow men out there please PRESS ON In Jesus name!

Got a class now, so I'm out!

Geek Of Theology.