My Confessions

Sometimes the best thing to do for ourselves and others is to be honest.So, today I'm going to be honest, I want to be transparent and open, I dont want to be seen as a fake person or an over religious person who cannot relate to the struggles we all experience.I'm Not perfect.I have made many mistakes, I have many struggles...but I must press until God sets me free...free from this wreched flesh and these sinful desires. We all struggle to do the right thing, but sometimes it seems our efforts arent enough to prevent us from falling.But we all fall, and its up to us to get up and press.We all have weaknesses and many of us are ashamed to talk about the things that prevent us from being closer to God,but how do we expect to move pass these imperfections if we don't confess them and set ourselves free. Is our love for sin greater than our passion for Christ?! Are we only infatuated with an idea of a God...or are we truly in love with this Higher Being?!

Who am I?I'm a broken vessel, who is only living because God saw it fit to pour His grace upon me. If it was not for Grcae I would be dead in my sins. But each day that I sin, grace rescues me from the grave and give me new life...another chance to be in that sweet communion with God.So, why pretend to be perfect?! instead aspire to be perfect!

Geek of theology,

Nuff love.

Too bad!!

I have mix feelings about a lot of things that have happened to me this past months, both good and bad things have happened to me! Oh, sorry I have been MIA for awhile, I took a trip to Jamaica,then I was caught up in my life, but to God all glory belongs. I'm doing OK, but just a bit baffled. Back to what I was saying, these feelings I am wrestling with are starting to drive me crazy,I have lost and gain some new friends in my life. The ones that had left I don't believe they were meant to ride with me on this journey called life, but I have earned a friendship from someone who I believe is God sent or maybe not (to be honest I'm not sure!!) I hope now you can understand my confusion. I think I may have issues when it comes to maintaining relationships,Is there something wrong with me or am I just being too hard on myself??! Either way, I'm going to trust God to show me my weaknesses and help me to improve my character.

Well, school will start anytime and I hope I'm prepared. Things are starting to go crazy already but whatever the Lord has in store for me will surely be mine no matter the obstacles I will face. I'm closer to my destiny, I can feel the pain. I'm about to walk into what God requires of me. I feel the contractions...so its time to push...push until I see my destiny. Thank God for destiny!!!

I hope to keep the blogs coming, I have noticed that people are actually reading them, which is great but what will be greater is that, I hope by me pouring out my soul someone will be touched and transformed.So, God bless you all and keep praying!!

Geek Of Theology

Nuff Love!

Lust Vs Love

What really is the driving force behind our actions. What pushes a person to do things out of their character? Who should we blame for the things we do?! The power of lust and the power of love are the two fundamental forces that propels a person to do things, whether good or bad.



What is your propelling force? Is it Lust...or is it Love? lets be honest, lets be real.Examine yourselves. Do we truly know how to love, can we truly look beyond the color, shape, size etc and embrace a person or a thing. Many claim to love ,but sadly many of us are confused.Love isn't lust and lust isn't love. How can we tell the difference? simple, Love has NO boundary, no limit, no ending! Love is unconditional, love is a powerful force.It can push a person do the seemly impossible, love gives a person imputable strength to do the things the mind cannot imagine. Love is Powerful. Love is God!



Now, I hate lust. Its a term many people believe doesn't exist. The symptoms one experiences while infected with lust is often time confused with Love. Which is lasting?Of course Love. But this is a generation which loves to do things quickly, we don't like the process of waiting, so we jump into things too quickly.We jump into relationships with the intention to satisfy our greeds, sex, loneliness, money etc. Many don't have the desire to commit or to pursue a healthy relationship, its all about a 'feeling' and its all about self. SELF, that's the problem, love doesn't have time to think about SELF. love is not selfish..but kind. Do we truly love? Or we do this whole love and dating thing for entertainment?

Dont play with people's emotions and don't play with yours. Love is a remarkable thing that should be waited on.

Nuff love

Geek!

God's Love!!

God's love for me is far beyond what the human mind can comprehend. Many people don't seem to understand the magnitude of God's love for them. Many view God as being distance and so far away that He is not in touch to the feelings of man. People sometimes can't seem to embrace this love that God has for us, because its too hard for us to understand. What is love? Many, say love is just a feeling that you feel, some say its butterflies in the stomach kinda feeling. Love is God, God is love.

I was reading the book of Jeremiah, and I was so overwhelmed by the magnitude of God's love for his people. Although Israel was considered an unfaithful wife, God in all His compassion and unending love still had love for the fallen nation. Israel began to worship idols, and to God this was the worst sin they could have ever committed, their worship of idols was being compared to a wife being unfaithful to her husband, God is like a husband to us and we in turn is His most precious bride.When we move away from God and embrace and love other things that draw us from the presence and fellowship of God.Then we create idols before God, its like a wife who dishonours her husband by breaking her marriage covenant by indulging in sexual relations with another man. With God, its the same!

We are seen as prostitutes, selling our bodies and lowering our moral standards just to satisfy our fleshly desires. God desires all of us, or bodies, our minds and our soul. We completely belong to God. God is not a distant figure that man cannot relate to but a God who desires fellowship and communion with His people. Lets not grieve God and pull ourselves away from His loving arms. Whatever we have done or where we have been God still has open arms waiting for you to run into them ,God is love so lets love Him back.

behind this face...there I am!

Who am I?! I was once baffled by this very question myself...what is the foundation of my identity? Who am I really?. Through prep school and high school, I was misunderstood. I was called so many things by the ignorant kids who they themselves were twisted and lost. But, I stood my grounds and hid within my shell, refusing to be defined by a group of people who followed and emulated the actions of their peers, talking about the blind following the blind! I hid myself from people, I drew into myself, I was never talkative, but a keen observer, I was never popular but within myself I knew I possessed the qualities to one day be a great leader...but at the tender age of ten I couldn't seem to understand why people treated me differently. They say I was an antisocial person but its a pity these kids didn't know that while I was locked away in my mind, God was perfecting me to be more than what they saw on the outside. I was very skinny (still am!!), I didn't have long hair, not the coolest or most outgoing...but inside of me I was somebody greater than what people could see.

I knew God existed from a tender age, I loved Him a long time ago...He was perfecting me, humbling me during those periods of rejection and cruelty I faced by my peers.I stood alone, I was different!I have fought many battles, lost many friends but in it all God was making me into who I am today.High school was no different for me, there were trials and there were heart breaks..but that was all God's doing to make me into His vessel of honour.

Behind this face, is a woman with many dreams, I have achieved a lot since prep school and high school. Some people would never believe it.I am victorious! I'm a new being, God has given me so many talents and has planted so many dreams in me that there are times I'm overwhelmed by it all. I'm so thankful to God for separating me from the world and putting me on a path of truth and destiny. I have a divine purpose, a calling to do greater things than I can imagine, the face you see today will have a different meaning tomorrow, because God is just getting ready to realise a new Esther , a new David, a mighty prophet Jeremiah...just know that God is going to do something big!! I'm only a face and a body, but whats inside of me is greater than anything else and that's all that matters...God is Good!

So who am I today?...I'm an apologist, an evangelist, a musician, a sister, a writer, a lover, a friend, a mentor...but most importantly, a servant of the most High God.

Nuff Love
Geek of theology.

Yep..its I...tha lump of clay!

Ok, wad up fam!! its the one and only Geek of theology. Its a great honour to know that people are reading my blogs, at least I know I'm not wasting my time spilling my guts in this public forum...but none the less, this may just touch some one. And for those who may want to follow the new movement called CRAZI 4 CHRIST, I will soon be starting a new an offical page, so I'll keep you posted.

So, whats new?! Well been doing a lot of work got finals coming up and I got to keep my GPA up. I hope this summer to do something extraordinary, hey...its was really HOT the other day ( i know this is random but..) its was pretty warm, no jackets, no scarfs etc...just good weather, praise God summer is in the air. Ok back to school, yea I got finals and all, papers to write and the whole works...but still I find time for myself and the love of my life. I read the book of Proverbs and I'm amazed.Wisdom??!! many think having a PhD or some kind of degree makes a person wise...but that's far from wisdom, wisdom is so Crazy sick (in a good way) I cant even beginning to explain the revelations I got last night after reading proverbs, y'all got to check it out yourselves.

So as for me, I've been doing some minor projects, writing songs, making beats, free styling in the shower lol! That's where all my songs are born, when I'm taking a shower. Man, God is awesome and ever so gracious. I can be all that I want to be, thanks to God. God is really Good. Oh yea, TEDASHII's album will hit the stores soon. The album will be GREAT. Check it out!

Well, I love you all. To all my friends in Jamaica( well there aren't much left) I love y'all. I miss my peeps.I so want to go to Africa, sorry I know this is out of the blues..but I have a burning desire to go there, I know it will be soon God's willing. Alright, keep strong and keep your heads bopping to the rhythm of God's heart. I'm out!

Nuff love,

Geek of Theology

Spring Break..oh please

Hey y'all, It's I the evangelist, apologist..basically God's vessel. It's me tha Geek!! ok lets see..its spring break and I haven't been enjoying it...its been boring. I can tell you all the stuff I DIDN'T DO, I basically slept did work and drown my brain into some books. I'm basically overwhelmed, too much thoughts have been going through my head...I've been from one extreme to the other. I've been angry, sad and just straight up confused. These past few days have been a roller coaster ride ...so many mixed emotions. Life is so funny and people are so strange.

Anyways, as I said it has been a boring Spring Break, but nonetheless I give God thanks for each day that I see. You know people can be VERY crude and so darn fake. I just needed to let that out. Ok lets get some positive energy flowing!!! Well during my boredom I've composed a couple of songs, also I've made couple of new beats which in my opinion is SICK!! I think these beats are hot,also I've written a kind of a philosophical breakdown on the concept of Passion and Lust, when I'm done with it I'll post it up. God is still God and He has been faithful to me...boi there were times I've almost lost my cool and tempted to tell people what was really on my mind BUT then God comes to mind. Life can be crazy and people can be crude.

I miss my Church I know this is random but ....I need to find a church were I belong, a church that I can feel God's liberation, I feel as if I'm being excluded and I yearn for 'freedom'. I love God and I love Christians..but something is missing in me. I'm tired of 'Christians' judging one another just because of what someone wears, or how a person talks. If a person looks different, smells different or is down right just DIFFERENT then they are sinners. I noticed that people are afraid of change, moreover Christians are afraid of things that look different. NOT everything that's different is SIN and NOT everything that FEELS good is actually good. There is a thin line between sin and holiness, but some people are so over dramatic and set in there own spiritual world...everything is sin for some people..I'm TIRED of all this, Tired of segregation, tired of the pretence, tired of the 2009 Pharisees and Sadducee's. I need a church, a church were people can feel liberated and God's love will flourish. God is for ALL, the man with the dreads, the thief, the liar, the child, the sinner...just for everyone!!!

I need.. a change!! I need freedom...! God has liberated men...there is nothing I can do to obtain salvation, nothing I wear , do , say or...whatever can save me except...the blood of JESUS! I'm save because of JESUS...nothing else.

Nuff Love

Geek of Theology